Pinball, 1973 - Haruki Murakami.

「藥物改變人的感官，使人敞開在一個平常現實裡不能達到的聽覺、視覺環境。事實上，人們為了愉悅而用藥，和看小說、看電影、聽音樂有著同一個目的：逃離現實。」-Danny Perez

  可是彈珠玩具機卻不會帶你走上任何地方。只有"再來一次"(replay)的燈又亮了而已。replay、replay、replay...簡直讓你覺得彈珠遊戲本身就好像以萬劫不復為目的似的。
  關於永劫性我們大部分人都不清楚。不過那影子到可以推測出來。
  彈珠遊戲的目的並不在自我表現，而在自我變革。不在於自我擴大，而在於縮小。不在於分析，而在於總結。
如果你的目的是在自我表現、或自我擴大或分析，那麼你一定會從犯規燈得到毫不容情的報復。
  Have a nice game. 


'問題在 於你想要改變，對嗎'
'老實說，對。'
'人哪，實在天生就笨得可憐，比你想像的更沒用'
'一直決定不下。'
'我也注意到了'
'該休息了。'
'晚安" :嗨!有人曾經這樣說過噢: 慢慢走! 而且要滿滿地把水喝個夠!'


關於過去和現在正如這般；關於未來則是"或許" - Tennesse Williams 

eye. J & Miss lady

'yung, Why don't you wear shoes?'
'   'c o z    i   f r e e z e   t h e m   i n   t h e   r e f r i g e r a t o r. ' she replied slowly.
' WHY???'
'  ' c o z  t h e y   w i l l   b e   c h i l l y   t h e n.'


'  i t ' s   a b o u t   t h e   t i m e '  
she opened the fridge, then put on those chilly shoes. 
' a w - o o o '
she  squeezed her face and seems feel contained. 

Tu oublies

KEREN ANN : JE FUME POUR OUBLIER QUE TU BOIS

dans ma rue

greedy heart

When that old river runs past your eyes,to wash off the dirt on the riverside

Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep
And I don't know why I go the way
Down by the riverside 

Joseph Zbukvic

Kaze no uta o kike - Haruki Murakami

"所謂完美的文章並不存在，就像完全的絕望不存在一樣。"

...

寫文章這種作業，其實就是再確認自己與周遭事物間的距離。必要的不是感性，而是尺度。

寫一次關於文章的事。

其一，智是哪裡來的? 隨著年記增長一些事自然能漸漸忖度,自然也逐漸忘記長腿叔叔和紅髮安妮到底是不是同一件故事，但事情的變化如果不是循序漸進的進行，也是件不自然的發展吧?那麼就可以說智能是別人贈予的而同時你或許正打開通道接收。如果在五年前那個年代，我一定還是認為文章就是寫來放在課文裡必定瑰麗而言之有物，或許句子畫線還要強記下來供引用，可笑，也充其量不過是訓練有素的眾人的默契。文章過去總被我拿來作為張揚吃進多少東西的工具，標點符號亦是追隨它的排泄物，只是分段記錄時間或是空間的不同。然而事情不是這樣的。當時看著一篇文章說是關於在閣樓儲存間裡那arches特有的味道，看著看著我的醋意就湧現，很好，因為我無法以輕調的方式看待每件事，你知道的，就算是畫一張圖我也必定滿滿的將顏料覆蓋在上面然後加油添醋一堆我覺得好的風格，讓整張畫面變得荒腔走板。但就是那個清幽的語調，就把一些很明顯存在的情緒揪出來，然後我看見了自己那個濃妝豔抹的自己，我好討厭。從那之後余秋雨之類的文章大概就可以數之高閣了，我該就是這樣偏激，那時候。

其二，小時後不寫日記。因為我不認為人活著有什麼好記錄，寫日記的盡是傷春悲秋的娘泡;現在不記錄就不記得我活著。

"從好幾年前開始，很多事情就不順利了。"

"幾年前?"

"12,13.....我爸爸生病的那年。那以前的事什麼都不記得了。一直都碰到討厭的事，頭上老吹著惡風。"

-------

"我可以問一個問題嗎?"

"你學到了什麼?"

一個處心積慮的小學生，和一個聽著ciacia音樂的國中生，一個開始蒼老的大學生，這些我都覺得不正常。

其三，改不了第一人稱。

'為什麼老讀書?'

'因為福簍拜是已經死掉的人哪'

'你不讀書活著的作家的書嗎?'

'活著的作家一點假直都沒有。'

'為什麼?'

'因為對已經死掉的人，大部分事情好像都可以原諒。'

你真的以為，藝術只能以青春的精神擁有?'

你說你的底牌是什麼? 那可以吃嗎  le rayon vert

如果我因你的歌聲聾了 我死而無憾 anna von hauswolff

Paranoid Park

Collin Provost Stay Gold B-side from Emerica on Vimeo.
"  過去曾有過這樣的年代，任何人都想活得cool。
高中畢業那時候，我決心把心裡所想的事情只說 出一半，理由已經忘了，但是這種想法我實行了好幾年。然後有一天，我發現自己已經變成一個只能把心裡所想的事說出一半的人了。"    <聽風的歌>

insomnia night, i tried to kill sympathetic nervous

Anna von Hausswolff - Home by Kning Disk
like a devil my heart ate up my energy that i could only paralyze but  being sanity.

Musikguiden

smug,smuggle

smells like fixer on my clothes

Night time
Sympathize
I've been working on
White lies
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
camera: konica hexar black 
film: double x 
iso: 400
1. 20℃ water : 1 min
2. HC-110 : 10 min 
    D76 : 6-9 min for iso 400
    D76 : 13 min for iso 800 
    -> shake it 5 seconds per 30 s, whack it to avoid retaining bubbles 
3.  water wash couple times,  hard water is ok
4. fixer B (recycle, using film can ) 
    film residue test 
5. water wash couple times, and use the soft water at the last time 
6. water + wetting solution 1 mm , pour it in
    waiting for 20 seconds ~ 2 mins 

Chicks on speeCH

2011.4.2 @ legacy

ghostly dream

Frank Schott

In 1993, a convicted murderer was executed. his body was given to science, segmented, and photographed for medical research. in 2011, we used photography to put it back together.

pulp-common people : ) 

She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge,
she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
that's where I,
caught her eye.
She told me that her Dad was loaded,
I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
She said "Fine."
and in thirty seconds time she said,

"I want to live like common people,
I want to do whatever common people do,
I want to sleep with common people,
I want to sleep with common people,
like you."

Well what else could I do -
I said "I'll see what I can do."
I took her to a supermarket,
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere,
so it started there.
I said pretend you've got no money,
she just laughed and said,
"Oh you're so funny."
I said "yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here.
Are you sure you want to live like common people,
you want to see whatever common people see,
you want to sleep with common people,
you want to sleep with common people,
like me."
But she didn't understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.
Rent a flat above a shop,
cut your hair and get a job.
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.

You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.

Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.

I want to live with common people,
I want to live with common people etc... 


Aereogramme-you're always welcome

The lights that come in and out of my life
I'll write, I'll re-record these times
The grill and the meadow
The ex's disease
And some passing of family
Frustration released
You have
A home here
You have
A place to hide



Bob Dylan - dreamin' of you 

Feel like
A ghost in love
Underneath
The heavens above
Feel further away
Then I ever did before
Feel further
Than I can take
Dreamin' of you
That's all I do
But it's
Driving me insane

Everything in the way
Is so shy like the day
In queer and unusual form
Spirals of golden haze here
In there in a blaze
Like beams of light
In a star